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Tuesday, December 5, 2017

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! - by Daniel L. Price Esq.


It’s that time of year again.  The end, and the beginning meet.   Revenues are higher in Michigan, thanks to efforts to extort more money from hard working citizens for, well, exercising freedom and hurting no one.  The effort to take our freedom is never ending.  First, scientifically unsound roadside tests.  Then breathalyzers, and allegedly fraudulent drug crime reports.  Now mouth swabs.  Is there no end to what the state will do to take our freedom?

It gets depressing just thinking about it, let alone attempting to show others by writing this article.  I will continue to write this article in the future, it is much too important.  Freedom is such a frail thing.  Still, I wanted to do something different this year for the December issue.  Hopefully, it’ll bring a smile to your face that lasts throughout the New Year.  I thought I’d make up a story that is so crazy, that none could believe it to be true.  Yet, I wanted to do it in the fashion of a continuous rhyme, much like Dr. Seuss.  So here it is, my ode to the rhyme Doctor. T’was the night before Christmas, and as he sat dreaming, reflections of the year through his head they were streaming.  Awakened from part fear and part fright.  A story, tell he must, to get his thoughts right.  It’s been one funky year that totally went to dust. 

This past News Years.  A swanky big city hotel, at $550.00 a night.  Way too expensive, but, oh, what the hell.  You only live once, so strike hard that bell.  Dancing and partying with “red”.  The hangover…the banging of the head.  Ended in a manner quite weird he admits.  Tell him again why he keeps doing this shit? 

Super Bowl time, all bling and quite loud.  Laser show, fireworks, and parade, all to get him going for the elaborate charade.  The fascination…preparation…anticipation, all geared toward the ultimate consummation.  The feasting, the party, the half time show.  Scoring and mashing late into the night.  Smoking hot like an old time bulb of light.  The afterglow, OMG what a watery sight!  Seemed floating on clouds was to be done.  Low and behold, not with that one.


Valentines came.  Sushi restaurant at eight.  Roses awaiting his quite fine Norwegian plate.  Devour he did for a good long time.  It ended rather splendid, they busted many a rhyme.  Another Spring was to come, but only went.  He totally forgot, he gave up porn queens for Lent!

Summer oh what fun!  He very fondly remembers why he likes summer best.  Boating and traveling, seemed always on the run.  Trips to the North, the East and the West.  Moonlit dinners on the deck helped slow it down just a tad.  But summer falls forward much too quickly, if you’ll pardon the pun.

Fall shows up and brings a stalker, tried to break in and bring harm to the lad.  No means no, no matter the sex, force is not good, it is, frankly a wreck.  Freedom is not at all within that lass, but plenty of others are with much crass.  Committed a felony, but charged with far less.  Perhaps if she’d had weed, she’d get flogged while undressed.  One wonders if they’ll make her pee in a cup.  No matter the law, you know that’s what’s up.

The last of the games in baseball they are, those wonderful times out in “the yard”.  Positions and play-offs to the end.  Live he must, seeking to play the game till he’s left with no card.  How could he ever get to the Series with a grin, due to the fact that the parasites tax it as a sin?  The pitch, the hit, and sliding in home plate, all in the name of an orgasmic fate.

Winter coming, with it a gem.  Fell quite hard, it is true for him.  A look, a passionate kiss, the embrace of pure bliss.  Alas it may not have been meant to be, for some crazy reason she separates from he.  All is not lost, it could be again.  It just depends.  Can they can find their true Zen?  So he sits by the fire on Christmas Eve with the hope, that she will understand the lovable dope. 

Speaking of which, may your stockings be filled with “green” cheer.  Perhaps you will breed a Christmas strain next year.  “Solstice Glow” could be the name for it, because it must lift us from the Seasonal Adjustment Disorder pit.

I hope this leaves you with a smile, even if for just a while.  Merry Christmas with cheer.  Say hello to next year, while you’re high as a mile, because it just may be another year full of it.
Till next year, as always, keep rolling on.


Disclaimer:  This is an informational article only.  It is not to provide individual legal advice.  If you need legal services, feel free to contact me, or any attorney of your choosing.

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